Showing Up For The Mystery
SHOWING UP FOR THE MYSTERY
A few weeks ago I was in Tulum Mexico, assisting at a dear friend’s first retreat.
I had intended to be in the harmony of the retreat, flowing in and out of the sessions, bonding with the women in between.
But the day I got there, I got smacked down with a fever.
Followed by a migraine with my left eye swollen like a puffer fish.
Followed by a sciatic flare up.
And basically spent almost every day in bed.
I felt so resentful at my body and so angry at God.
Vestiges from my religious upbringing carried hints of punishment and unworthiness into my thoughts.
When I went to pray as I do almost every morning, I had very little to say.
It felt like God and I were a couple, arms crossed on opposite sides of the couch with nothing to say to each other.
But I still showed up.
And in doing so heard the message “showing up is the prayer.”
Despite the frustration I sometimes feel at the mystery of the divine, I still show up every day, wanting to believe, wanting to connect, wanting to co-create with a power greater than myself.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t have flowery, spiritual things to say that day. I showed up.
And for today, that is enough.
Where in your life are you showing up, even when it’s hard?
Wherever that may be, I bow to you for it.