Episode 162 - The Secrets of Feminine Glamour with Laura Foley
Oh my friend, do we have a true piece of maple candy for the soul on the podcast today!
It is my absolute pleasure, joy, and delight to introduce you to my muse, dear friend, and past-life sister in enchantment, Laura Jane Foley.
Laura Jane is a true artist of life.
Everything about this episode seduces. From Laura Jane’s mesmerizing voice to the delicate jangle of her bracelets, her presence is pure enchantment.
She is my go-to model for living as our full, sensual, legend-in-the-flesh, and I know you’ll be purring in her lap, just as I was, in no time.
Here are just a few of the gems you’ll receive:
How true glamour is an act of self-enchantment
The secrets to radiating confidence and style, even when you’re working from home and feeling like a crusty troll 🧌🙋🏻♀️
The transformative power of dopamine dressing (!!!! - how I have I never heard that term before!??)
How the ritual of dressing can enrich not just your day, but your entire life
Whether you’re looking to reinvent your wardrobe or simply radiate limitless feminine confidence, this episode is the secret salon you’ve been waiting for.
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Join The Sanctuary Community and receive a signature, self-seduction meditation from Laura Jane
A related episode you may enjoy:
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Hello, beautiful beings, and welcome to Come to your Senses. Oh, my heavens, do we have a treat for you today? Prepare for your ears to be so seduced by the dripping honey of this woman's voice. It is my pleasure and my delight to introduce my muse, my friend, my past life sister, laura Jane Foley.
01:24
Laura Jane is a stylist, she is an artist. She is an absolute advocate for feminine beauty, glamour and radiance. Laura Jane has worked within fashion, retail, design, styling, event organizing and personal coaching for 14 years. She is a passionate advocate for sustainable and independent designers and retailers and hosts workshops as well as works with clients one-on-one to provide in-depth coaching to unearth their deepest desires when it comes to how they want to feel and express themselves creatively through how they dress. She works closely with each client on a bespoke level to attain the ultimate transformation that will lead them towards a more liberated, expressed and exciting life.
02:27
And speaking of liberated, expressed and exciting, I am also so pleased to announce that Laura Jane has gifted us a very special self-seduction meditation that will be delivered this week in the sanctuary which is our membership community, and so if you would like to receive an even deeper, more honey-soaked maple candy version of the experience you're about to have today, head to schoolofsensuallivingcom slash sanctuary and, without further ado, it is my absolute delight to present Laura Jane Foley. This is audio so people can't see that there's this gorgeous chair with embroidery behind you Tell us about that chair, oh, this chair.
Laura Jane Guest
03:35
I fell in love with it the moment I saw it in the window of a local shop and it was more than I would usually spend on a chair. But I fell in love Because, as you see the tapestry it's a gilt-edged sort of Louis XIV-style chair, with this beautiful tapestry depicting a really romantic Renaissance-style couple gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. And I'm such a sucker for romance and beauty and I couldn't be without it and I dreamt about the chair.
MaryHost
04:11
You know, when you start dreaming about an item, that's when you know it's time to return. You have a gorgeous gilded turban covering your head and a sparkling kimono, and just you include glamour and sensuality. And you know, I was doing a deep dive before we stepped on today into your Instagram, which is how I first encountered you, and just marveling at the many ways that you express this sensual soul spark, like you're an artist, you're a dancer, you're a mother, you're a stylist. But ultimately, what I feel whenever I interact with anything that you produce is like and learn some of the secrets and some of the arts of the feminine by a 1920s film star. And here you are, and I wanted to start by just asking if you have any first, like early, memories of when you felt this feminine spark of glamour and adornment and sensuality express itself through you that is a great question and one I have answered quite a few times before.
Laura Jane Guest
06:01
And, mary, I have to say I don't remember it not being there. I believe I was born with it and I love hearing women's stories when they say that there was a defining moment in their lives when something switched on inside them. I wish I had that story, but I don't. I do honestly believe that it was there from day one and I do believe that I have brought something into this lifetime from another lifetime where, as you said, there were temples and there were goddesses and the feminine was, you know, hugely worshipped and upheld, and glamour was not something thought of as being frivolous, but it was inherent within I love the word glamour in general, but I specifically love the kind of glamour that you practice and you teach and I wonder if you might share that you practice and you teach.
07:07
And I wonder if you might share. What does glamour really mean to you? Well, do you know where glamour, the word, actually derives from? Mary, tell us I will. Glamour derives from the Scottish word grammarie, which, as you may rightfully think, it sounds like the word grammar, which is the way that we spell and we speak and we write, and so there is a connection to the way that we communicate, is a connection to the way that we communicate. It is ultimately meaning um, an enchantment.
07:52
it being linked to grammar is linked to the spell, writing right of the witches and the healers and the women that came before who would literally enchant with their words and their spells and their writings. So this is where glamour derives from. To cast a glamour literally means to bewitch and enchant. So for me, I think the most important aspect of glamour is to enchant ourselves, first and foremost. It has to be for us and it has to come for us before anybody else. And it doesn't matter I mean, glamour is so subjective. Everyone perceives it in a different way and everyone thinks of glamour in their own unique way. It means something different to each person.
08:45
But the most important aspect of glamour for me, and what I always communicate to the women that I work with, is that it is for yourself. It is to enchant your own self, your own mind, your body and your day with as you move through that day. And in doing that, of course, you will enchant and bring others into the magic, and you know those who are willing to come with you. But ultimately, you know it has to be led by you, led by your heart and your desires. For what enchants you, what, as I like to say, what turns you on? You have to tune into your own turn on in order to delve into your own glamour, your own sense of glamour.
MaryHost
09:40
I love that connection to enchantment and when I think about things that incite a sense of glamour, it's like there is that special sparkle and I think about, like you know, the way that we adorn for special occasions, like a graduation or a wedding or what have you, and like it is a spiritual practice of inviting the divine, the goddess, through the celebration of beauty. And that's something that I just so cherish about your work is, you know, you teach women how to embody their sensual feminine through the art of dressing. But what I know that you have a background in ballet and that I was was hearing you speak about how you had to be polished and prepped, prepped at you know some ungodly early hour, and I wonder if you know just how has your relationship to adornment shifted, changed, evolved over the years?
Laura Jane Guest
11:31
um, so I believed passionately in the art of dressing up and adornment and playing with clothing and accessories from as early as I can remember. Um, I used to have this really glamorous auntie that whenever we went to visit her I would dive straight into her jewelry boxes and load on the bangles, step into her stilettos. Um, my mother didn't wear a huge amount of makeup herself, so when I went to my auntie's house and was let loose into her makeup bag yes, there would be a lot of playing and experimentation I just, I just adored it. From the beginning, I adored walking into, you know, the beauty halls and the department stores, the fragrance halls.
12:18
You know I was the child who would. I would pick up a lipstick and and apply it without even looking in the mirror. From you know the age of four, I would pick up a lipstick and apply it without even looking in the mirror. From you know the age of four, I would go into the hat department and the sales assistants wouldn't look very kindly upon this little girl trying on all of the hats and they'd say, please, could you make sure this child doesn't try on the hats. But you know which I think is so unfair.
12:45
And whenever I had my boutique and I had small girls coming in, you know, I really wanted to encourage as much as I did the grownups when they came in to explore, because that is the only way that we can come to know what we love, come to meet ourselves. You know, with regards to how we adorn ourselves, how can we not know what we enjoy if we don't have the chance to play an experiment? And so, as you mentioned, I was a dancer and I adored the aspect of stepping 8 o'clock in the morning because our ballet mistress wanted us to embody the glamour of the stage, even if sweating it out at the bar, and I've taken that through my lifetime since it's a way of stepping into a frame of mind.
MaryHost
14:10
I completely agree and I always marvel because you know I work from home and I will be like down in the dumps and, just like you know, my energy low until I go and stand in front of my bathroom mirror and start to apply my makeup. And you know, I went to Catholic school my whole life and so as a kid it was uniforms, and then in high school it was a dress code, and in high school it was a dress code. So it was like there was this discipline of dressing up for the day and I used to hate that as a kid, but now it's like I'm so grateful that I have it within my body as a habit and I'm curious what you might say to someone who feels maybe intimidated or exhausted. I feel like this is really common and I experienced this too of why waste the makeup? It's just going to be me or I'm just walking the dog today, or I have so many other things to do. Why bother?
Laura Jane Guest
15:37
What might you share with someone like that what I would say is to look at the way that they have really done themselves a disservice by just saying, well, it's only me, or me on the dog walk, you know, or me on the school run, or me at my home desk. And I would ask them to, you know, really ask themselves what makes them think that they're not worthy of receiving the pleasure of wearing something beautiful you know, Because a lot of the time I am sitting at my desk, working from home, I'm just going to the local grocery store or walking my dogs.
16:29
I don't do it for anybody else. Drugs I don't do it for anybody else. It is absolutely a process of my own healing. It is for my own sense of well-being, and this is what I want women to, to really understand about this, this way of life that I'm guiding them towards. If anybody else enjoys it, then that's a bonus and they will enjoy it. They will enjoy it once you step outside and they see you on your dog walk, wearing a beautiful piece of jewelry or a fabulous colored blouse, whatever it might be, and it's not even that. It doesn't even matter what it is and whether it's something that they would like or that they would want to wear themselves.
MaryHost
17:17
if they see you in your pleasure, they're going to appreciate that god, you know I am having a moment of like, wow, because, you know, cleanse my skin and apply my balm and all of that in the morning for my own pleasure.
17:37
I don't necessarily need to do that in the sense that, like, my skin will be fine if I skip a wash now and then, but I just love the way it smells and feels and refreshes me fresh.
17:57
As me and Laura Jane, I am like I have never really thought about my makeup ritual and my adornment ritual. I mean to say I've not really thought about it is is not really true, but like for my own pleasure, if I never even leave the house like I adorn for my own pleasure, if I never even leave the house Like I adorn for my own pleasure when I go out, you know, like it's a huge aspect of my pleasure practice, but I'm having a reckoning within myself of, you know, like adornment as self-adornment, like I just really appreciate and I see this as a thread throughout so much of your work that sensuality, dance, eroticism, all of these things that are framed as ways to get attention or ways to connect with others or ways to please others or ways to please others, but like it is a self-practice and everything else is whatever Is whatever.
Laura Jane Guest
19:03
If it pleases others, then that's wonderful. We're happy for them. But our story is about pleasing ourselves, and it is the tools of self-seduction that we can bring into the every day and the every moment, learning that we are worthy of the beauty and the pleasure and the sacred art of adornment, whoever we are going to come across that day, even if you know it is just us, it is for us and that, in turn, you know it.
19:36
Really it really helps to. It has been scientifically proven by people who have done surveys I won't name names because I can't remember them, but them but, um. I'm not very good with the finer details but not scientific darling, but you know, when we're talking about beauty, yes, I know everything, but um, uh, so nobody, I'm sure in this day and age has not heard of the theory of dopamine dressing. Right, everybody has heard about this. It's been banded around a lot in recent years.
MaryHost
20:19
I have never heard that term before. Dopamine dressing. Dopamine dressing? Tell us about it.
Laura Jane Guest
20:27
Oh, wow, if you insist. So dopamine dressing is quite literally the connection between the pleasure that you receive, the release of the dopamine, but also the oxytocin, all of those delicious, feel good hormones that we feel when we eat something delicious or we enjoy some intimate connection with ourselves or somebody else, whatever it might be right. So it is a very sensual pleasure because it's really connecting, coming home to the body. And it's the same with dressing. You know, anything that is done with intention and mindfully and with presence of being within the body and within the moment can release these feel-good hormones. But also things like colors, you know there are connections to colors that you know. They alter how we feel, they alter our mood, they vibrate differently, so they might energize us, they might soothe us, they might embolden us. So all of these elements of the colors that we choose to wear, the textures that we choose to wear right, the colors that we choose to wear, the textures that we choose to wear right.
21:54
So whenever I am discussing the art of sensual dress, sensual adornment, a lot of people might think that it has to do with, you know, dressing for you know, an erotic encounter. And it isn't that. It is really a way of dressing that really titillates all of the senses, or as many senses as possible, right? So not only are we going on the visual, but we're also going by the textures, the silks, the satins, the velvets, the furs, the cashmeres. We're going on the sound, right? So I love wearing armfuls of. You can hear them jangling around, armfuls of bangles or click-clopping stiletto heels. I think click-clopping is. Possibly it makes you sound like a horse, isn't it?
MaryHost
22:48
Click-clack Horses are very elegant as well like a stiletto heel.
Laura Jane Guest
22:57
You know it all adds to the heightening of the um, the titillation of the senses. It also has been proven to elevate productivity and creativity the way that we that we dress and prepare for the day.
MaryHost
23:16
Absolutely, and one of the things I've heard you say is I will never tell you what colors you should or shouldn't wear. You know, I know that there's and I've not had this done but there's lots of systems out there that will tell you, based on your skin and your hair and all of that like what colors are right for you. And I know so many folks rely on neutrals, myself included at times, because of their simplicity and can be afraid of using color. And could you speak a little bit to that?
Laura Jane Guest
23:57
Yes, of course, I feel very passionately about this because I think that the moment you put restrictions so I'm talking about if somebody has gone to receive a color analysis from a stylist who works with colors and informs them which seasons they might be in color wise, which palettes, whether they need to go for cool or warm tones. It's not the way that I work, it's not what I believe in, because I believe that we should be led by the heart and what pleases us, and I believe that we should never restrict ourselves to exploring and finding out more about what we like and what is us and what works for us. You know, I just think it's too sad to be stuck within boundaries, you a shop forever more and be able to necessarily know whether that blue has the right tones in for her. I just think you know, just allow yourself to be drawn to what you're drawn to. Don't allow voices from anybody else to tell you that that's not for you.
MaryHost
25:34
I deeply agree and I think that you know, sometimes these systems can be helpful, especially when we're starting out, like I live to mix patterns, like mixed patterns and more eclectic fashion to me just shows such character and depth and it was really helpful to have some guidance around. You know, starting with black and whites, and you know neutrals and, but ultimately, like it really comes back to this truth of like. Like it really comes back to this truth of like, self-trust and feeling good and that being the ultimate barometer for your radiance, because I know that in your work it's like you know, the medium is style and yet what you really help people get to the heart of is their own radiance in how they move through the world.
26:37
And so, from a selfish point of view for us work from homers, as you are as well, I know. I know that many of us living to this, listening to this podcast, and I appreciate you speaking about the feel of something and I know a belief that I have deeply embedded in my subconscious because I don't believe this at the front of my brain, but there's this idea that in order to be beautiful, glamorous, radiant, I have to be uncomfortable, Because this kind of comfort uniform is like yoga pants and a sweater or whatever. And I wonder if you might speak to that comfort and glamour and how they dance together.
Laura Jane Guest
27:31
Yes, of course. And how they dance together? Yes, of course. Well, I do believe that comfort and glamour can and do go hand in hand. You know, for those that love their yoga pants and their sweatshirts, there's a great choice out there, now more than ever, you know, especially since I think the work at home, you know, way of life, really took off, uh, following covid, and so loungewear really exploded onto the everyday scene.
28:09
Right for me, I would just say I I don't feel comfortable in, hmm, in anything that I don't feel beautiful in. Okay, so it's, it's, um, it's my own discomfort. That's what makes me feel uncomfortable. If I am feeling beautiful in my own way, right, if I am feeling, you know, my lingerie is lovely. I have my waspy waist, you know, a little sort of corset on pulling me in and making me feel nice and streamlined, and then on top of that, I have a lovely silky dress and then, over the top of that, a belt with a kimono and some jingly, jangly bangles and some beads that are wafting around at my chest. That's what makes me feel comfortable. So now we're talking about comfort in different ways, and I think it's just as easy to put on a lovely silky dress and a kimono, as it is to step into a pair of yoga pants. I will walk my dogs, I will do the hoovering in that, and that, for me, is comfort, because it feels like home, it feels like me and I feel uncomfortable if I don't feel like me.
MaryHost
29:33
I love that your answer to how to have more comfort is to put on a corset, is to put on a corset.
Laura Jane Guest
29:46
That is amazing. But you know, some days I just think, oh, I'm just, I'm feeling a little weighty around the middle, the midsection. I don't want to feel that, I want to feel streamlined and you know, it will help my posture, it will help how I feel within and without and look without. And yes, that is comfort to me, that is feeling my best self.
MaryHost
30:14
Mm-hmm. Well, I love that redefinition of comfort. You know, because I wouldn't say of comfort, you know, because I wouldn't say I mean, you know, when I'm out walking the dog, wearing my dusty trainers and you know what have you, it's like there is a quality of comfort but there's also quality of discomfort. And similarly, when I'm dressed to the nines and maybe my jeans are digging into my waist a little bit, but I feel fabulous, it's like there is a quality of discomfort but there's also a deep quality of comfort and confidence. And so I love that redefinition of, like, the different flavors of comfort.
Laura Jane Guest
31:00
Yeah, the different flavors of comfort. Yeah, and I think that so many women are against the aspect of what we would say is artifice these days. You know the uh, the beauty, the cosmetics, the, the extras, and I know why it is, and we don't have to go into it here. It's possibly another subject for another day, but what I want to do is really guide women back to the pleasures of being a woman. It is just my main aim in life to really reintroduce women to these pleasures, be it the art of artifice or not. You know, I think artifice it goes hand in hand with the art of glamour, the enchantment. You know it's to elevate the mundane, it is to remove you from the humdrum. Yeah Well, and you know when you speak to that it is to remove you from the humdrum.
MaryHost
32:02
Yeah, yeah, well. And you know, when you speak to that, I'm thinking of just my own experience of going about my day. When I take the time and energy to adorn, I'm moving out of survival mode, like when I'm in stress or anxiety, and I'm just in survival mode. It's like and this is true from a nervous system perspective like often talk about how beauty sends a signal of safety to our nervous system, because when we're in fight or flight, it's like there's no energy left over to attend to beauty. And that's one of the reasons I so cherish the way that your work is a practice of pleasure, but it's also a practice of presence and using pleasure as a tool for presence. As a tool for presence, and I'm curious, when you work with a client, what are some of the challenges that you most often encounter when you're styling a client? Like, what are some of their challenges in approaching style or approaching this more sensory, sensuous kind of dressing?
Laura Jane Guest
33:25
I think the first and foremost challenge is usually that sense of unworthiness. You know, I love working with women that know that it is a deeper dive into soul level. It's not about bringing them the current season's fashions to bring into their wardrobe. It's women who know that they want more and need more in their lives. They want and need to be more. They don't know how. So the first, I think, hurdle is usually that that lack of self-worth to get over and to help them see that, you know, they do deserve to wear lovely things, whatever their age, whatever their size, whatever their circumstances, whatever. Whatever their size, whatever their circumstances, whatever their budget, you know, and their lifestyle.
34:28
I also I love working with women who are older. I think that they are so close to having the ability to see and feel like it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks right, that they don't care anymore. Because when we're younger, when we're in our teens and our 20s and 30s, we do care right. But I love the women that are in that, you know, bugger it phase of life. At the same time, I want them to care about themselves and that is usually the issue.
35:05
They usually know that they want more and that they're ready for more. Maybe they've come to a point in their lives they've brought up their children, they've been successful in their career, and perhaps they've been through divorce or widowed or menopause, whatever it might be and they know that they are ready for a change, a blossoming as such. And you know, I think it's so sad how a lot of women, as they get older, yes, they have that sense of well, I don't care what anyone else thinks, but in the same way, they might think well, I sort of don't care either. And I'm actually just going to slip under the radar now because my time has passed and nobody cares what I look like, you know, I'm just, I'm old.
35:56
Now, when this size I'm, this age, whatever it might be, when this size and this age, whatever it might be, and for me, the magic comes when they understand that they can become even more of themselves as they age.
MaryHost
36:11
Yes, you know, I remember my mom was once part of a croning ceremony and I actually recorded an episode.
36:22
I'll link it in the show notes of my mom speaking about this.
36:27
I had my mom on as a guest and it was so meaningful to watch these women walking into this phase of life and what was remarkable about it was the croning of the women happened through them being adorned with a purple velvet shawl that they each took home and there was this beautiful altar.
36:54
And I remember walking into the bathroom and seeing wrinkles around my eyes and having the thought. You know, when you hear your brain think a thought automatically, versus you generating a thought, and it's like, oh, I just heard myself think that I heard myself think, oh, wrinkles, I'm becoming more of a crone, like excited, you know. And so I love that distinction of becoming more of who you are and expressing more of who you are, not less, as we grow and develop into all these different phases of life. And that's such a core piece of what you do is expression and I, their wardrobe, their uniforms, their things that they know match or they know look right on them, and they want more of that expression in their style, but they just don't even know where to start, to start summoning the courage to take a risk and expand their style.
Laura Jane Guest
38:32
Well, when I work with women, the first initiation into my offerings, if you like, is the style and shape illumination, and I like to take women onto a style fantasy adventure via a guided visualization that each, each woman receives, and I really ask them to, to really home into their wildest fantasies you know to, to discard any rules, expectations, any um, societal uh expectations as to what a woman of a certain age should wear or what the color of the season is, or you know what your particular colors are.
39:27
Throw it away, you know out, out, out with the rule book, and absolutely to drop into your fantasy as much as possible.
MaryHost
39:38
I love that. Your style fantasy, oh my god, like well, and you know what. What was coming to mind as you were speaking is, in this industry that you and I both work in, which is essentially being a support to people in their own evolution, there is so much emphasis on the mind and the thoughts and the inner world to address and process and work through how we feel and as a few of my brain cells started to wander. In my own style fantasy, it's like, oh my God, you know, high-waisted jeans with, you know, some like Halston-esque sunglasses and, you know, walking out the door. Like that is how we change, how we feel. You know, and I just so deeply, deeply, deeply appreciate the art that you put out into the world and that you invite women into. And as we draw our time together towards a close, do you have any parting words?
Laura Jane Guest
40:59
I do Mary. Yes, my little bon mot, I suppose stolen from His Royal Highness William Morris. Oh, and slightly rejigged. William Morris, the great arts and crafts textile designer, was very famous for having said have nothing in your home that you do not believe to be beautiful or practical, which I think is a fair enough thing to say. It makes sense. But I have altered that slightly to suit my own tastes and I like to tell women to not have anything in their wardrobe that they do not believe to be beautiful, and that is that.
MaryHost
41:50
Oh, and that is that. Thank you so much for casting your spell with us today.
Laura Jane Guest
41:58
Oh, my pleasure. Thank you for having me.
MaryHost
42:01
Obviously, we'll place the links to all of your offerings in your website and your beautiful Instagram, and, for those listening, I cannot recommend highly enough pouring yourself an amaretto flavored beverage and just pouring through the archives of Laura Jane's beautiful art that she shares on her Instagram. And you also have a really exciting program coming up in the fall, and I wonder if you'd like to share a little bit about that.
Laura Jane Guest
42:30
Yes, In ode to what I think is the perfect time to step into a mode of transformation and a rebirth, into a mode of transformation and a rebirth that being autumn fall. This coming September, I am launching my fully immersive style coaching program called Revamp, which is a beautiful melange of all of the services that I offer separately, but with added bonuses, added extras. It's an eight-week immersion. It's one-to-one. I can only work with four to five clients at one time because you really do have me in your back pocket as well. So, alongside the weekly calls and the services, but also the content that you will be able to access during those eight weeks, you will also be able to access me via Messenger just to share thoughts, feelings, ask questions.
43:44
You know, if you wanted to show me a top that you were considering buying, or ask me if I thought that you know a new hair color, whatever it might be, or or advice with buying a new fragrance, um, I will be there with you for eight weeks. It is a fully intimate and immersive exploration, so that every time you open your wardrobe, it's hello friends, hello pleasure. I love getting dressed in the morning. You know that's. That's what it's all about hello friends, hello pleasure.
MaryHost
44:26
I am a yes to that. That sounds so extraordinary. And, uh, would you share your website? Just so that obviously we'll put it in the show notes, but just so that people can hear it it's wwwstylebylaurajanecom. Beautiful. Oh, you are a treasure, and I just want to her in your lap for all eternity.
Laura Jane Guest
44:58
And I would let you eternity, and I would let you.
MaryHost
45:04
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